Day 124 - Continued

On a whim, I decided to head back down there at about 6pm tonight. What I got was probably my best session of the summer! Maxing tide, shoulder high peaks that offered 1 chance to turn outside and then one on the inside just before the high tide explosion on the sand. No exaggeration here, on my last wave, my board went farther up onto the sand than ever before. A record! There were pools forming on the other side of the sand bank, because the tide was so high it allowed the water to rush over the sandy little peak. My board, could have hit lifeguard tower, which sits about 20 yards back from the precipice that slopes down to the waves. So fun! Maybe I cannot explain why having a wave detonate on your head in 6 inches of water is fun, but trust me there is a different level of challenge trying to pull a critical turn with no water underneath you. I had a few of those tonight, fortunately I pulled them. However, I'm picking sand out of my ears as I also pulled underneath a number of closeouts, which were born of the same ilk.

There are few things that frustrate me more than the afternoon summer crowd that shows up at El Porto. You see, in terms of general intellect, well that is an oxymoron so I'll stop there. In terms of wave knowledge, well Laughlin, Nevada actually ranked slightly ahead in a recent study. The point is, back to my epicenter argument a few days ago, nobody is getting better, El Porto is a dormant fault line. Not to get off the subject, but this is real genius in my opinion...

I started out at Rosecrans and ended up catching a couple of waves, but they weren't that great. This morning I noticed a decent sandbar down at the life guard tower just south of Rosecrans. I eyed it tonight and decided to head over there. To my surprise, I scored it! It was a left that held from the relative outside until it detonated as I previously described. I had a number of good waves and then the gnat showed up. Some clown followed me down from Rosecrans and proceeded to sit right on me! I would call him a leach, but other than the 1st wave, he didn't take anything from me. You see it is important to clarify what bothers me. I do not mind beginners, I love beginners, there is so much stoke in them. I do not mind mellow competent surfers (I would describe myself as one of these). We can surf, but nobody is paying us. I do not mind pros (they get paid). What I do mind are complete idiots, who clearly have no clue and take themselves too seriously. This was one of those. It started with him following me and then sitting right on top of me, as if he did not have the ability to determine where the waves were going to break on his own. And then it happened, this goofball back-paddled me more blatantly than I can remember ever happening to me. I leisurely paddled for a left that was coming right to me and this guy proceeds to paddle around me and take off. Now I could have taken him out, dropped in, I would have ran into him. No, not worth it, torture is better in this case. First I snowballed the wave onto him and he never made to the open face. Then I caught a wave (described below) and paddled back out, very calmly. You see, what I was about to do did not make me anxious, I was excited about it. I knew exactly where the sand bar was, so I knew I could keep anyone off of it that I wanted. I decided to make the rest of his session very miserable at the expense of mine being really fun. I paddled him too deep one time, I fake paddled for a misto-right another, he bit each time. I sat right behind him giving another surfer plenty of room to go as he made a futile effort for the shoulder that the other surfer was on and then he turned and I'd be on the next wave. I simply caused so much confusion that he could not catch a wave. The fun part (for me at least), is that it is possible to do this all under the cloak of kookdom. I just acted like I was a spazz and super amped, which I could tell was his normal way of being. I just did it with one objective, not to get waves (this is sometimes done by guys that are so amped to get waves they are all over the place) but to keep him off of waves. I'm very calm in the water, very respectful, I can tell when somebody snakes me and they don't mean it, I don't take offense, if I drop in on somebody and it is rare, but it is always an accident. Worse than being dropped in on is certainly the back-paddle. You see it is the difference, to use a bad analogy, between first degree murder and manslaughter. If you back paddle someone, you know you are doing it, it was planned, there is some premeditation. Most of the time, a pure snake is caused by a fit of emotion or general lose of judgement. One thing still puzzled me... Why did he do this? I'm not a great surfer, but this guy couldn't surf, I'm not a great paddler, but I could paddle circles around him, I keep to myself, don't cause trouble and share waves. So why then? This puzzled me as I turned his session into frustration. Then, I got my answer. He finally gave up around 7pm after about 1/2 hour of struggling to catch a legit wave, he got out he went to his things and picked up a second board. Remember, I'm an analyst by training so I'm constantly asking "why?" His second board was about the same length as the one he was riding, it was about the same shape as well, maybe just slightly more pulled in on the nose, both were thrusters. Why would he have 2 boards down on the beach on a standard summer day? He couldn't surf well, so he certainly could not tell the difference, or could he? Is it possible? No, I know it isn't, but in his head it was! This is the classic situation where he hasn't yet seen himself on video! He thinks he "rips"! So funny, I've seen this many times. I even thought that I "ripped" before I first saw myself on video. The simple fact is that this guy really, truly thought that he was a good surfer. That he had the "right" to perform a first degree back-paddle on me. So funny, I'm so glad that I'm at a point where this stuff doesn't bother me, that I can make it all into a game and have fun doing it. I'll admit it, I could almost feel bad. But I don't. Very similar to driving where everyone is waiting in line in traffic and somebody flies up the shoulder and "snakes" in. You want that person to suffer for their lack of respect of others and I want that too. I guess, that's why it is so fun. That must be it. Remember I'm an analyst by training so I have to ask myself "why?" Don't I?

Can you see the "SNAKE" part of this illustration? That's basically what he did but just draw the arrow behind the surfer on the wave instead of in front of him, so that the illustration would then look like the "DROP IN" one on the left. In other words, he would have forced me to drop in on him, not worth it because there was no room to do so.

The irony of the whole episode is that the wave after he back-paddled me was the best wave that I caught all day. I unloaded on it, right in his face, had room for a full-rail cutty and finished it with a close-out blast. So good. So rewarding. The rest of the session was more of the same. Probably the best of the summer for sure. I'm so happy. I'm just so stoked on everything, what is wrong with me? No one person should be burdened with this much stoke!