Day 12 - I'll hit that wall anytime...

More to follow. Going to the bus right now.

I've hit a wall studying, working out, working, traveling, snowboarding and I'm certain at various other times in my life. The anatomy of "hitting a wall", in my opinion, in its simplest form, can be conceptualized (for me at least) as: the benefit from doing something no longer APPEARS (you’ll understand the caps later) to offset the cost of doing it. In other words, the marginal benefit does not offset whatever the cost is (time/pain/exhaustion). So, where the cost crosses the benefit, we shut down. We quit. The inverse of this is almost certainly what happens in addicts, as for the most part, they know that what they are doing to their bodies is detrimental over the long term and they would choose not to have that long term outcome if they were in control. What happens in my opinion is that the cost of continuing the addiction (long term) does not match the benefit from continuing the addiction (short term), so it can continue indefinitely. I’ll call this a duration mismatch – benefit is short term, cost is long term. At some point, the short term benefit likely becomes the inverse of the cost after an extended period of time – so the short term benefit is simply avoiding the short term cost (withdrawals etc.) – the short term cost is then just lower than the long term cost as it is deferred. The benefit in this case is not having withdrawals. It is, in my opinion, summed up by the following statement: “I’ll start my diet on Monday”. Then on Monday, for some reason I don’t start my diet! This can be stopped by a choice (commitment to stop it - commitment is the key word here) or it will likely be halted when rock bottom is hit (the near term cost outweighs the near term benefit in this case.) Wait a second; did I just compare you (me) to a drug addict? Well, let’s just say that a heart attack will certainly change eating behaviors (rock bottom in the diet example). Thoroughly confused? I know that I’ll be when I reread this someday… The point here is that we are all addicts, whether it is chemical or not, it is part of being human. Now, it is very important to realize that the cost is made up in our heads (the only place reality exists - which in fact is not real at all - no wonder everyone is so screwed up!). Why is this important? Because we can CHOOSE not to be one – make our own reality!

To make my point about the realness of reality, I’ll use an example. I'm partially color blind, so I certainly don't see the colors that others see, yet it is as real as it gets in my head (some greens and grays are actually just different shades of the same color you know). Maybe, in fact, you color snobs are the real problem! So your green is no more real than my gray, it only exists in your head (and mine). Why do I make this point? Because I hit a wall this morning (it really started yesterday) and in my opinion, hitting a wall is a term that describes the distortion of reality that occurs in all of our heads. It is no more real than the gray tie than I’m wearing right now (green for you). I had been predicting that this would occur around Day 14, based on my recollection from my prior experience with my streak, but maybe I have been surfing more intensely this time.

The power of commitment:
So hitting the wall under normal circumstances results in a change of behavior to realign the short term cost / benefit relationship. In my case, more sleep would garner quite a bit more utility than throwing a cold damp wetsuit on in the dark, with no idea of what I’m going to get in return. Sleep would certainly be much better than that! Armed with two pieces of knowledge, I chose to put my wetsuit on anyway. 1) I know I have to surf every day (commitment) and it is much better to get it out of the way earlier as to avoid having to worry about it all day and 2) I know that it is an undeniable fact that the least crowded day, without exception is always Monday. So, even though I hit the wall, commitment is what drives action, not feelings (made up stories/excuses – not reality). The story I had going this morning was, “My back is sore, it is cold outside, the tide is low (could be walled), my wetsuit is wet, I have to pick things up because my housekeeper is coming today, etc. etc.”

Today:
Obviously you know what is coming by now. I made it out there based on commitment and nothing else. It was the best day of surfing yet. I was a little hobbled by a sore back, stiff knee and tired arms, but the waves were so good that it really did not matter. It reminded me of low-tide river jetties when I was a kid. Sucking barrels with the bottom dropping out from underneath of your board – you either go real fast out there or you don’t go at all. I surfed my double concave (double D, is what it is called I think), this board goes really fast down the line, but it does not like to turn without speed (a function of the double concave is that it is hard to get it on rail without speed). So, I learned it the hard way again today (got stuck in the lip and pitched – going too slow). But, then I was able to unload on number of waves. My last wave in particular, as it was a perfect left, which was offshore-groomed leading into a closeout barrel of a right about 50 yards down the line, about head high. I focused on getting a lot of speed with the perfect Newport-arm form and then set it on rail for a full wound up frontside bottom turn, with plenty of time and space, I let go, unwinding my bottom turn at the right time on the closeout barrel coming at me. With so much speed and so little weight on my board, I was able to get down off the lip before it collapsed onto the flats. I’m always amazed at how sometimes you can drop 5-6 feet off the top of the wave and not feel a thing, the transition is as smooth as silk. If I were to jump off of the cabinet that stares at me all day in front of my desk, I think I would hurt myself and it is only 3 feet high. Go figure…

So the waves were slightly overhead this morning, with offshore winds and low tide. El Porto does not get much better than that. All the regulars who surf really well were out, as a result of experience, I’m sure they know that Mondays are the day to go, especially when there is some swell in the water. All the weekend warriors are tired from competing in the weekly Surf/BBQ biathlons that are held up and down the coast every Sunday.

One other thing, before I forget. I saw a little sea lion out there. I’m sure he is the same guy that I used to surf with last year. Still just a baby, but he has put on a few pounds. Last summer he was a sardine hunter though, it looks like he weighs 50 lbs or so now.

I’m certainly not over the wall, but I know I’ll be back on it tomorrow – no matter what the cost.